We hosted a speaker tonight and while it was totally positivism/mind cure stuff she was cool and did some activities where people shared what they’re insecure about and I could probably relate to every other one and a lot of people talked about being/feeling lonely and like afterwards she asked what we got out of it and like I know that I’m not alone in feeling a lot of the things that I’m feeling and like I do feel lonely a lot and a lot of the reason is because I isolate myself out of fear that people don’t actually like me even though I know that there are several people that are there for me and maybe there would be more if I was more willing to be more open with people but even though I know all this I still feel really lonely and insecure and I like keep trying to tell myself how all these feelings and thoughts are just in my head and I know that but I don’t feel it and I guess I don’t really believe it. And it just hit me right now as a group of people left tredway laughing and whatever and I know them and we’re acquaintances but we’re not really friends even though there’s been a lot of opportunities for us to become friends and there’s a lot of people where I’m at that level with but almost none (maybe just one person?) that I’m really friends with or feel a real connection to and like I could have more and better connections and relationships with more people and I want to but I don’t and I can’t and I’m like at this place where I know all these things about how I feel and how I should feel and what I can do to make myself feel better but I can’t get over my fears to do anything about it and even if I could I wouldn’t know how to and it’s really frustrating.
The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.
"but officer they were fucking with my clique"
And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better. I will love you.